


Something About the Way You Are

by orphan_account



Series: Du erkennst mich nicht wieder [7]
Category: Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: And he's bad at being one, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Miles is a Demon, Mutual Pining, Secret Crush, Secret Identity, and a bit of crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26866072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Miles believes that demons don't have the ability to love, but God thinks otherwise. Or, how Miles makes a fool of himself by mistaking Alex for an angel.
Relationships: Miles Kane/Alex Turner
Series: Du erkennst mich nicht wieder [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2081118
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	Something About the Way You Are

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this one a while back but ended up deleting it because I didn't know how to end it. Here I serve you a cheesy romantic comedy, just because.

Something About the Way You Are

The slight boy walks in. Suddenly Miles feels a sharp pain spreading inside himself, and he knows.

Later that night, Eva finds Miles in the female washroom, caged, uneasy and almost frightened, pacing up and down with his horns and tail out in the light. “For Satan’s sake, Miles!” she scolds. “Mind if I ask why the hell are you in the only toilet that I can use?”

Miles looks up, horrified. “Eva, haven’t you seen him?”

Her mouth pops open in confusion. Eva walks into the bathroom, waving her hand casually to let the door lock itself. “Er…who?”

“Turner, the singer!” he pauses, hoping for a response, but Eva gets it really, really wrong and throws him a dirty smirk. Miles screams at her. “Wait, no, not like that! Eva, can’t you see? He’s a bloody angel!”

His outburst silences Eva for a while. She squints, staring at Miles’ face so carefully that he starts to get goose bumps on his arms. Eventually she sighs. “Are you high? How many times did I tell you not to take anything before we play?”

Miles glares, grunts angrily. His tail sways from side to side, dangerously missing the bottle of hand soap. “I’m fine! I’m telling you, Eva, that Turner is -”

“An ANGEL, I hear you. That better be a metaphor, because angels went extinct millions of years ago, Miles.” She gives him a merciless headlock, pushing Miles towards the door. “Now kid, get out and sober the fuck up.”

+

Miles creeps behind a pint, so that he can spy on Alex Turner from the bar. All his band mates are happily chatting with the boys. Miles does remember their names - Matt seems to be an okay lad. Jamie is a bit of a wanker. Andy, a good man, so not interesting. As for Alex, Miles bets he’s _dangerous._

Miles curls his lips as Eva leans towards Alex for a few whispers. It’s not even 7 pm, the bar is quiet. There’s no need for her to stand this close to the boy, except to prove that Miles is a paranoid fool.

Alex picks this moment to throw his head backwards and laughs - his face fits the typical profile of angels perfectly: innocent, beautiful and easily lovable. The strange sense of agony bursts in Miles’ stomach for a second time tonight as Alex looks over to the side. Their eyes meet. Miles can’t help but recoil a little when the boy moves to his direction.

“You wanna join us there?” Alex greets him with a coy smile. Miles flinch. It feels like he’s just been stabbed with a laser gun.

He snaps. “No.”

“Ok, okay…see you later then.” His poor attitude deflates Alex. The boy steps back, looking perplexed and seemingly a bit wounded. He’s not mad at Miles - another evidence that he must be an undercover angel. Besides, who names their band _Arctic Monkeys_ , if not to mock at Genesis?

+

It turns out seeing Alex later is a _horrible, horrible_ decision. Miles can’t stop himself from fidgeting with Alex watching from the side stage. Eva gives him a deadly warning glare when Miles messes up the chords for the third time. She mouths some threats that are far too graphical to be a joke, and under the blinding light Miles swears Eva’s horns flashed out for a second.

At least her vivid depiction of torture helps Miles survive the last few songs with no more mistakes.

When the monkeys get on stage, Miles finds out his eyes have their own free will and are clearly reluctant to focus on anything but Alex Turner, who is unbelievably breath-taking even in a pair of poorly fitting beige pants.

Miles is doomed.

“He looks very human to me, Miles.” Eva slips her arm through his, stops Miles from fleeing.

Miles struggles to get free. “Leave me alone,” he hisses. “I gotta go-”

“Shh, not so soon.” she shushes him. Eva points her thumb at the stage. “You gonna tell me why you insist he’s an angel?”

“Nah, I think I’ll pass.” Miles groans, fruitlessly trying to get away from her. Eventually, he has to admit he won’t succeed without someone noticing they are not exactly the same species. Miles’ head drops down defeatedly on her shoulder. He confesses. “I can feel it. Damn, I feel it even now. Just the sight of him burns me, Eva. I… it hurts so bad.”

Miles turns around just to see Alex grabbing a beer to drink, lips kissing the bottle. The inside of his body twists into a giant knit ball. Miles is shaking with the effort to not show his true form.

“God.” Eva curses, throwing a hand over her mouth. The word itself makes both of them flinch. Miles stares back at her, but Eva just chuckles. She’s soon laughing so hard that they have to leave the bar and get to the back.

“Oh Miles, poor babe…I can’t believe it!”

It irritates him when Eva acts like one of the elders, although technically she’s way older than Miles. In fact, at the true age of 19, Miles is still a baby demon. He realizes she has just figured something out - something he doesn’t understand yet.

Miles chases after her. “What?”

“I can’t tell you. You have to find out yourself! Listen, Miles, this is fucking important,” she cracks up again. “I can assure you that Alex is no angel. Stop being a dick and treat him nicely, darling.”

“But-”

“Here, some whiskey for you.” A full bottle flies across the room into her hand. Eva passes it to Miles. “This shall help with the pain, alright?”

+

Nothing helps with the pain.

No matter what he tries - alcohol, weed, painkillers… none of those works and Miles simply learns to deal with it. He takes it willingly now because Alex is, indeed, so very special. Miles was impressed with himself for managing to stay away from him in the first 18 months. Eventually Miles gets used to the uncomfortable feeling creeping inside him whenever Alex’s around. He’s a demon, after all. He can’t be whining because of such trifles.

“I can’t recognize you anymore.” Says Alex after his fourth martini. He claims the ceiling is spinning just like the inside of a kaleidoscope, and the music they play in the pub is way too loud. Miles asks him if he wants to head back now. They can ditch the lads and call it a day. Alex smiles at him warmly. He mumbles something like “…always taking care of me, Mi…” and Miles decides that’s enough for tonight.

Outside, the rain drains the life out of the city. Alex’s flat is only 10 mins walk away. He leans on Miles heavily, staggering like a pony. Miles has an arm around his waist for support. He also makes an invisible shield on top of Alex’s head just in case the human boy catches a cold.

Warm air blows on Miles’ neck as Alex murmurs something too muffled for him to understand. Miles has to bite the inside of his cheeks to stop himself from groaning out load.

“What?”

“Miles…” Alex tries again. His fingers find Miles’ cheek bone and clumsily start to draw patterns on it. Miles’ knees buckle uncontrollably, and they almost fall face down into a pool of mud.

“Don’t stand too close to me, Alex.” Miles warns him, still he adjusts his position so that Alex can put more weight on him. “We are almost there.”

“We are not.” Alex argues, making no sense at all. Suddenly he confesses in a serious tone, “Miles, I'm…evil.”

Miles smiles. “I bet you are.”

Alex keeps the keys in his back pocket. Miles decides to just pick it out with his tail, which seems much easier than having Alex hanging on him, squirming and making ridiculous speeches while Miles reaches for the keys with his occupied hands. Plus, judging by the nonsense he’s spilling, Alex won’t remember a single thing about this tomorrow morning.

“Where did you get the keys?”

“From your pocket, Al.” Miles arranges him to stand against the door, barely blocking the keyhole.

“No way! You…but I hold your hands.” Alex blurs, pushing lightly at his elbows. It causes both of them to lose balance when the door sways open. Alex falls on top of him. They are touching everywhere and suddenly the hallway turns into _a burning Hell._

Miles lets out an ungraceful cry. His chest feels like it’s on fire. He flinches again as Alex murmurs, making the situation worse with the holy word. “ _God_! …err…Miles…sorrie…”

Miles bangs the floor with his fists in frustration.

“Are you okay?” Alex is still talking. “ _Jesus_ , let me - ”

“Oh please, Alex. Not that one too!”

The finger he presses against Alex’s lips is to silence him, but Alex licks drunkenly, basically sucking on it. Heat travels all around his body, boiling his blood. Miles chokes on the next breath, brutally pushing Alex away, climbing forward to avoid him. “Bloody hell, Alex! Don’t you-”

His mouth snaps shut. Partly because Alex has already fallen deadly asleep on the floor, partly because the pain and heat have begun to subside, sinking lower and lower in his body until they find another exit. And it’s not a decent way out.

In a mixed confusion and horror, Miles suddenly realizes his dick becomes ridiculously _hard._

+

“Cheer up, Miles. I don’t understand why you’re so upset.” Eva says.

On the other end of the line, Miles winces. He is still in Alex’s place, the other boy now sleeping soundly in the bedroom. “It doesn’t make any sense. How can I fall in love with anyone, Eva? We don’t even have the function!”

“Don’t ask me, I’m not the one who’s got boner. In the worst case, you can still fuck him.”

“Eva,” Miles rubs his forehead tiredly. “Al’s me best mate -”

“Well, go on then. Do some mating!”

“Don’t make me hang up on you.”

Eva is unmoved by his pathetic protest. She’s rather unsympathetic today, even for a demon. “Or you can stick with your old theory. Who knows? Maybe Alex Turner is truly some angel from heaven -”

Miles does hang up this time.

He spends a few painful hours dreading in the living room. The wet clothes he’s wearing are all dry and wrinkled by the time he sneaks into Alex’s bedroom. Alex is lying on his back in sleep, looking so soft and angelic in this looming darkness.

Simply the sight of Alex is tormenting enough to drive Miles away. The image itself though, has been stuck stubbornly in Miles’ head. It won’t go anywhere even when Miles, guilty and confused, reluctantly gets himself off in the shower.

+

Alex blinks up at Miles. “You’re not staying?”

He looked unnerved. Miles scratches his chin nervously, unsure how to react. Alex’s keen to spend the rest of the week with him, finishing the few tunes they’ve been working on recently. Miles would have eagerly agreed, if not for the little incident that happened while Alex was wasted and out cold yesterday.

“Nah, told me mum that I’d come home. She’s making me dinner tonight.” Miles lies in a hurry. He knows his mistake the second the words left him mouth.

Apparently, Alex knows it too and won’t buy his bullshits without putting up a fight. “You can just call and tell her you’d be staying at mine for a few more days. It’s only lunch time, Miles.”

“I don’t think- I mean I have some-” Miles isn’t a good liar even on the human criterion. Alex puts down the coffee mug he’s been holding, eyes widening at Miles’ newly developed stammer. All of a sudden, Alex starts to fidget as well.

As if there’s a cactus growing on his sofa, Alex jumps up. “I didn’t say anything weird, did I?” At Miles’ confused frown, Alex breathes heavily for a few times. He then shakes his head. “I can’t remember much of last night.”

“You turned to a corpse the second we got in, Al.” Miles forces out a laugh, while mentally slapping himself for freezing up the second Alex mentioned “last night”. Out of habit, he reaches up to adjust his collar, and that’s when Miles realizes he’s still wearing one of Alex’s T-shirts he stole to sleep in.

“It’s fine. You can keep it.” Alex takes another sip from his mug, nervously smiling back as Miles blushes with guilt. The sting inside his stomach warms up and turns into a burning sensation underneath his breastbone.

Miles doesn’t feel the supposed relief when he’s out of the door. The idea of not being able to see Alex for a while is just as painful.

+

“…can I stay for the weekend?” 

The second Miles spills those words, Pauline’s strong, comforting arms leave his back and land firmly on his tight shoulders. “Are you okay, darling?” she frowns, leaning back, trying to stop Miles from running inside his bedroom. “Didn’t you have a nice time in London?”

“I did.” Miles agrees in a feeble voice. He is too exhausted to lie. “I just…I’m afraid that I messed up.”

He protests half-heartedly as Pauline settles him on the sofa. It takes a lot to ask for advice in this regard. Miles usually avoids talking to her about it, for it’s far from pleasant for both of them to recall certain things in the past.

“Has Dad ever loved us?” Miles blurred out after his second tea. In the corner of his eyes, Miles watches Pauline’s facial expression and desperately looks for any positive sighs. If only that’s something a demon is able to do, Miles is more than willing to try.

“He tried to.” Pauline glances sideways, continuing when she’s sure Miles is listening carefully. “He just didn’t know how, but surely he took the effort.”

Miles nods, looking away. His tail is out and starts to circle around his own wrist, as it always does when he’s feeling down. “I don’t wanna end up being like him.” Miles reasons vaguely. There’s no need for more details, since she knows him so well.

Pauline pats him gently on the arm. “Miles, I’m sure I’ve taught you better.”

+

Eva is back in town on Friday. She comes by and digs Miles out of his misery by threatening to kill his neighbour’s puppy, if Miles doesn’t come to meet her right away. 30 minutes later, they sit outside the little pub at the end of the road, sharing a big bottle of hooch.

“You see, you won’t even let me skin that little thing. If there’s a demon test out there, trust me, Miles, you won’t pass.”

“No dog killing in me area! You’re the worst.” Miles rolls his eyes at her and tries to drag the bottle towards himself using mind power. He hasn’t learned how to do that properly yet, because his dad had vanished before he even grew out a tail, and Eva only moved to town a few years ago.

“No, seriously. Go and get him, Miles. Everyone knows he likes you.” Eva insists. Her brows fly high when giving Miles that _I-know-better_ look.

The younger demon jumps up from his seat. He asks in disbelief. “Eva, for fuck sake, did you actually read Al’s mind?”

“Oh please. You do it all the time, that’s why Turner’s so obsessed with you, right?”

“Of course not!” Miles glares at her, not knowing how to react to this news. He tries to stay pissed at Eva for doing something so invasive, but then he can’t help himself. “What…what do you mean that he likes me?”

She laughs and throws at him an insulting gesture. “Go ask the little angel yourself, love.”

+

Miles remembers watching a bee drowning.

He’s by the pool on his own. A few meters away, Pauline was chatting with Robert, a stout man who gave Miles an extra-large ice-cream every Sunday afternoon. She didn’t notice until Miles’ horns and tail were out in the sun, wailing for attention. Luckily, people thought it was some sort of Halloween costume (Later that week, Pauline got asked twice by their neighbours about where to find a similar pair).

The death of a bee is commonly witnessed. _Normal._ Only years later did Miles realize it wasn’t entirely normal to enjoy it so much. The next day, Pauline caught him tearing off a bee’s wings in the yard.

She cried. Miles could never forget her face from that day.

Pauline has tried her best to raise Miles to be a loving, kind person, and one could even say it’s quite successful. Yet there’s certain part of Miles that stays as a demon. He has to pay extra attention to his temper. He tries to stay out of trouble just in case he accidentally breaks someone’s neck during a fight. Also, Miles never gets the desire to be with someone, settle for a relationship.

He has long accepted that something is lacking in him. That deformity can upset Miles from time to time, but he has never felt like this before, hoping for a way to clean himself from the inside out. Miles looks at himself in the mirror, at the pair of coiled horns. His black, furred tail waves anxiously in the air as Miles frowns at the flash of inhuman colour in his own eyes.

He heaves a sigh, carefully hiding all those before coming back out to give Alex a call.

+

Turns out Eva is even crueller than Miles can imagine: She has to lie about the only thing that Miles cares. By the time he has made up his mind to come down to London, Alex is already seeing someone, someone that’s not him.

Miles arrives right on time to enjoy a night out with Alex and his girl. He doesn’t want to be there, but it’s hard to watch Alex walking out of the door when Miles knows he’s going on a date. So, like every possessive demon would do, Miles joins him.

Alex gives him a side hug when they get off the taxi. His touch burns Miles’ skin like a real flame, yet for some reason this time it secretly turns Miles on.

Eva’s words echo in his head. For once, Miles is so tempted to search inside Alex’s brain himself. The boy won’t even notice. It’s so easy to just do it, if not for the girl waiting for them across the street.

To his disappointment, Alexa is unbelievably perfect.

Miles had wanted her to be the villain, so that he could easily hate on her, having the perfect excuse of protecting his best mate from trouble and everything. But she’s funny and beautiful, whereas Miles is literally a secretive devil on the table. Seemly to prove his point, after three drinks Miles can only think about abducting Alex from this room. The pain in his chest intensifies to the degree that Miles can barely pretend to be comfortable, leaving him cold and shaky in the middle of July.

Miles watches the back of Alex’s head keenly when he turns around to talk to Alexa. Miles wonders if she also notices how those star-like eyes smile silently under the little furrows of his brow, kissed by the tangle of his unruly fringe.

He wonders if jealousy hurts more.

+

On Saturday, Alex half cajoles, half tricks Miles into going to an indie theatre with him, rather than burying himself in suffocating pillows and dark thoughts in the guest room. As a compensation, Alex suggests that they could watch a few superhero movies together, which completely demolishes the point of going to a place like this in the first place.

Miles keeps eyeing Alex in the dark. He barely pays any attention to the film. Alex only finds out this when, on screen, Spiderman had realized that he failed to revive the conscience of his best friend ( _Bad omens, Miles thinks_ ). They are the only two audience in the room, so Alex asks. “Do you wanna discuss it?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, man.” Miles can feel heartbeats in his eyes. For a second he’s worried that he won’t be able to control his tail. Luckily, when he fumbles about on the cushion behind himself, there’s nothing there.

Alex fixes him with a hesitant stare. “Miles, you know you can tell me if anything’s -”

“No, seriously. Everything’s good. I’m just a bit tired.” Miles lies.

Alex nods. He’s still looking at Miles, and he’s moved so close without Miles noticing, close enough to make Miles breathless. His body quivers when Alex’s hand reaches out to hover above his shoulder. There is an unfamiliar tension floating in the air, something heavy and tangled and full of threats.

Miles must have lost a few seconds of consciousness, because Alex’s thumb is now digging in the small hollow above his collar bone, lingering there before wandering up to massage the tight muscles on his neck. Miles closes his eyes. He almost feels like crying, not only because it hurts to be touched this way by Alex. He hates the fact that the touch itself is madly addictive. If only it could last forever, he’d gratefully overlook the painful side-effects.

“Let’s go back.” He slightly raises his voice and Miles thinks Alex is also trembling, somehow. “I’ll order pizza.”

“Okay.” Miles agrees. “Sounds good.”

He still feels dizzy as they walk down the street together, a breeze puffing towards them. Alex grows quiet on the way back. Miles can’t help but feel responsible for that.

+

“There’s this party thing tonight.” Alex pauses, trying to remember. Next to him Alexa laughs and moves her legs onto Alex’s lap. He mindlessly starts to touch her kneecaps as she reminds him of the exact time and location.

Miles puts down his tea, which suddenly tastes more like poison.

“Don’t worry, I’ll drive you both.” She says cheerfully, leaving Miles no time for an excuse to not go. Alex makes a small protesting noise but doesn’t escalate on that. Instead, he peeks at Miles with a long face, and Miles smiles back before he can stop himself.

He feels weirdly happy afterwards, even when Alexa throws a blouse at Alex and forces him to change into her clothes. Alex looks fabulous in that - Miles has to admit. She surely knows about fashion.

It’s a private party held by Alexa’s friend, who’s also a stunning lady. There’re about 15 people in the yard when they arrive, and Alexa takes Alex’s hand into hers the second they get out of the car. She leads him inside while Miles follows three steps behind them. He really doesn’t want to be here tonight, no matter how good the wine tastes.

Alcohol loosens him. Miles is willing to have a conversation with whoever darts a glance at his direction, just to keep himself as much occupied as possible. He isn’t really aware of what he’s been spilling all night, but surely is he conscious of every move Alex makes. The music’s on. Miles grabs another drink when the two love birds slide onto the dance floor. Alex’s dance moves are hilarious. Miles has seen him dancing before in his own bedroom, the relaxed smile on his face so radiant that it hurts to look at.

A dark thought pops into his head without invitation: _Back then he was mine._

The envy and bitterness devour him, making Miles choke with hatred. Another spin, and he sees Alexa looking at his direction with vigilance. Miles shuddered, as though he has been doused in iced water. He gets up and quickly walks towards the front porch.

He can really use a smoke right now.

+

“Why do you keep it in a water bottle, Miles?” Pauline asked patiently.

Miles had found a chubby black spider with yellow stripes weaving her net on a rose during their last picnic trip. Now it was sitting inside an empty plastic bottle on Miles’ desk, barely moving anymore.

“Because it looks beautiful!” Miles exclaimed lightly. “I love it.”

“You love it.” His mother said after a minute. She seemed a bit shocked, to say the least. “But you see, it doesn’t like the bottle that much.”

Miles couldn’t hide his disappoint. “But I treat it very well! I feed it flies and grasshoppers everyday.”

That explained the dead bugs piling up on the bottom of the container. It took him a while to understand what saddened his mother at that moment, before she kindly asked him to put the spider back into the garden. Miles didn’t want to let it go, but he complied with her instructions because he wanted her to be happy again.

It was more than a decade ago. Pauline touched his fringe and forced a smile. “Miles, dear, there are many ways to love…”

 _To love does not equal to own._ Miles drops his cigarette and crushed it underfoot. He feels unsettled, out of control, no matter how many times he repeats the right thing in his head. Alex is not an object for him to possess, and of course, it’s not Alexa’s fault that he wants to scream and take and hide Alex from her.

Miles grumbles desperately and lights another cigarette.

It hurts to be _human_.

+

Miles sends Alex a message to let him know that he’s left. He leaves early enough to compose himself, but late enough for Alex to not worry too much. His brain is a mess with all the booze and distress, knocking him out soon after Miles lies down.

He wakes up with a headache, stomach churning. At first, he doesn’t know why he’s suddenly sober, until Alex’s voice rings again in the living room.

“…’s me fault.”

Miles can barely make out what he’s saying with the thick walls and closed door. He pulls the door open and collects the nerve to look out. Alex is on the floor with his back to Alexa, who’s leaning on the sofa with a sympathetic look. Alex is clearly drunk, but he sounds coherent enough. “I said something stupid the other night. It must be.”

“I doubt that. Looks to me he’s head over heels for you still. You should see his face when we were dancing, geeze.” She chuckles, somehow amused and not bothered at all. The haziness in his mind is swiped away. Miles holds his breath and watches as Alex lifts his head. There’s something tender on his face, soft and unreachable.

Surprisingly, Alex giggles like a little kid. He turns to her. “So you think…?”

“I won’t encourage you, Alex.” She says in a warning tone. “You know the drill. It never ends well.”

“But I’ll be good.” Alex pouts. The hopeful look on his face turns into grievances. “I will, Alexa. I’ve - I’ve been…” His voice trails off. Alex hugs both knees towards his chest.

“I love him.”

Miles would have been caught, if not for Alexa’s loud snort. “Oh, hells above! Aren’t you a lovesick boy?” She shouts and walks towards the kitchen, heels knocking on the floor mercilessly. “I seriously can’t believe you can be this in character. Please, Turner, have my respect.”

She has a way with phrasing irony, one that Miles finds weirdly familiar, somehow.

Before he can fully digest what Alexa just said, she’s back with two cups in hand. Miles stays where he is as she steps closer, then, to his horror, she throws one cup at the back of Alex’s head, with no warning or hesitation.

“Al watch out -” Miles tumbles out of the guest room, just in time to see the cup of tea flying smoothly into Alex’s waiting hand.

Alex startles, jaw dropping as Miles trips over and falls onto his knees right in front of him.

“Oh.” Alex blinks twice, voice coming out funny. “You’re not asleep.”

“I’m not asleep.” Miles confirms. “And you’re a demon.”

“I -” Alex opens his mouth, answer obscured by an awkward gulp. Fuck, he’s looking all flushed and guilty. “Shouldn’t you have guessed psychic first?”

That’s when Alexa curses and covers her face. “HOLY CRAP.” She shouts and Miles flinches at that. When he looks up again, he’s welcomed by Alex glaring at him with disbelief.

“You’re not human.” Alex gasps.

“And neither are you.” Miles says.

+

Now he thinks about it, Alexa sounds so much like Eva when she's being mean. Maybe there's a lecture about demon manners which Miles missed out on. Miles asks, only after she vanishes. “So you’re not dating Alexa?”

“I’m never dating Alexa, my dear lord – ah, sorry, forgot you can’t stand the word yet.” Alex smiles apologetically. “She’s an _old, old_ friend.”

Miles is not sure whether he wants to know how old that is.

Alex glances at him gingerly. He looks like a little kid who just earns a gift which is too good to be true, that he has to check every other minute to make sure it’s still there. “It’s an unwritten rule, we don’t get to be with human. It’s … unsafe. She’s here to help, you could say, to put me off trying.”

It should be such a relief, but in the end, Miles can’t stop himself from feeling a little bit betrayed. “I never said she’s me girlfriend, Miles.” Alex adds slowly, after seeing him sulking. “Trust me, it’s difficult to lie to your face about this.”

Now he’s mentioned it, Miles does recall Alex only ever referring Alexa as his “special someone”. “Alright, guess I shouldn’t have jumped to the conclusion.” He huffs indignantly. “You don’t have to dance with her all night long though.”

The words sneak out before he realizes what they sound like. Miles feels himself going red in the face while Alex soothes him with an empathetic look. “I never thought about reading your mind, because it's you. Miles, I think about you all the time.” He admits. “I’ve wanted you since the second we met.”

Miles’ eyes are closed – he starts to feel the pain again, like there’s a hollow carved inside him. Alex is still talking. “To be fair, you were a bit mean to me at first.” He chuckles at the memories. “Took me long enough to get you come around -”

“I thought you were an angel.” Miles chips in. As soon as he begins, he can’t seem to stop himself from pouring out all the confusion, all the longing and all the agony he has endured. He talks about the awaking moment that scared the shit out of him, about his demon dad who ditched his family and run away, about how he’s been trying to learn how to love Alex better than this, every moment better than before, about how he's worried that he can never be good for him. “It hurts to look at ya. It hurts when you’re close, when you touch me. I don’t understand.”

Miles sniffs quietly. It feels like he’s dreaming. None of this conversation seems real, until Alex grabs at his wrist and pulls him close, warm breath landing on his chin. “It hurts me, too.” He shudders, eyes dark and bottomless under the white light. “It hurts so much when I touch ya, Miles, like I’m being burned alive.”

Then all at once he does realize, “You licked me finger on purpose, you bastard!”

Alex blushes fiercely. “Well, I have a high pain threshold.”

He is so close, never this close before. Miles looks at him in the eye, and suddenly he knows.

Miles tilts his head and seals Alex’s lips with his own. Alex whimpers, opening up to him, beautifully and willingly. Miles kisses him, deep and loving and greedily, and just like that, when Alex hugs him tight and wraps himself around him, Miles finds the pain has stopped.

+

“Can I see?” Asks Alex. Miles gets what he wants to have right away. He himself also can’t stop thinking about it.

Miles shows Alex the true form of his, with coiled horns and a wobbling tail. Alex groans, kissing him hard and eagerly until they are both panting. Miles pulls at those soft curls trailing down on Alex's forehead. His fingers wanders around, and then find a pair of glossy horns. They are a bit different than his ones, less pointy, but slightly thinker.

Pleasure shots through his spine as Alex’s tail wraps around his own. Miles moans, pulling him down for another hungry kiss.

+

"...you and Eva can't tell I'm a demon because I took some hard effort to hide it." And thereafter, when they are lying on bed, side by side, Alex complains with an embarrassed furrow, smiling at the same time. “How come I didn’t suspect you. I mean, you used your tail right in front of me! Usually we recognize our kind easily.”

“You were probably too drunk to even get it up that night. Besides,” Miles rolls his eyes. "Al, I can’t even move a shredded hair with me mindpower."

“…’nd we can’t have that, right?” Alex shakes his head. He looks innocent and young, hugged by white pillows and blanket. _Almost angelic._

Meanwhile, Miles can feel the tip of Alex’s tail exploring down to places it should never be.

Alex smirks at him. “How about I teach you?”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this is at least entertaining! Thank you so much for reading.  
> Please don't hesitate to let me know what you think <3333


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